0.2s

Things are really humming along here, with 0.2 after 0.2 after 0.2...you get the idea! And yet readership is down. Maybe I need to start offering mp3s?

I was just running some numbers (that's technical jargon for adding and subtracting) and realized that on 20 of the 49 albums I have predicted, I have been off by 0.5 or less. I find that astounding.

I do it all for you, my faithful reader.

Future Clouds & Radar - S/T *

Nary a mention of this on PF. I had never even heard of it until reading about it today on largeheartedboy. I downloaded some mp3s from there; haven’t listened to them yet. What I’m trying to tell you is I have little to go on. There is a positive Paste review on amazon.com, and it made some customers’ “Best of 2007” lists on that site. Not that that says much, since two of the lists also included James Morrison, and one of them included a new album from Joey McIntyre (yes, that Joey McIntyre).

Anyway, this is apparently some serious psychedelic pop. I can’t decide if that’s good or bad. I’ll predict a 7.8. Actual rating: 4.0. Point differential: 3.8.

Bill Callahan - Woke on a Whaleheart *

Nothing much to say here: 7.1. Actual rating: 6.9. Point differential: 0.2.

Arctic Monkeys – Favourite Worst Nightmare *

My God! Someone needs to chop down the tree that is providing the Arctic Monkeys with such horrible and/or boring album names. I mean, WPSIA,TWIN and WTFATAM?, and now FWN? Girlfriend, please! But then I always thought the band name was terrible too, so the rest is really no surprise.

Fortunately the music more than made up for it on the first album. There were a couple of lows, but the highs were outstandingly high. Higher than the statue of that guy in that square in London where all those birds seem to congregate. Normal birds mind, not the type the Arctic Monkeys would be referring to. I think PF’s rating of 7.4 for the first one was pretty accurate; I may have suggested 7.8 if I’d been consulted.

My point is this: The first album had some fucking quality songs on it, and it only got a 7.4. There is simply no way this album will be better on the whole, and no way it will get a higher rating.

That’s all there is to it. I predict a 7.2. Actual rating: 7.4. Point differential: 0.2.

Klaxons...Klaxoffs...Klaxons...Klaxoffs...

Get that into ya! An impressive 0.2 off on the Klaxons album. May God save those who are trapped below the Earth.

Elk City - New Believers

PF hasn't reviewed an Elk City album since 2002. Which actually makes a lot of sense because the band hasn't released anything since 2002.

This is yet another band I am not familiar with, although the name immediately made me think of Shell City, you know, from the SpongeBob Squarepants movie.

Patrick: Shell City.
SpongeBob: Yeah, we never made it to Shell City.
Patrick: Shell City.
SpongeBob: Exactly, buddy. Yeah, the place we never got to.
Patrick: Shell City.
SpongeBob: Okay, now you're starting to bum me out, Patrick.

Seriously, I could talk about that movie all day, if I wasn't an adult and it was socially acceptable to do so. Take my word for it, it's funny. If you're reading this blog, you obviously understand I have an amazingly incredible sense of humour, so it must be funny. Anyway, my prediction for this one will be 5.9. Actual rating: pending. Point differential: TBD.

Nine Inch Nails - Year Zero *

This one will be reviewed, of course. While PF doesn't appear to have assigned a rating of any kind to the first single from this album, it gives it the ol' hipster beat down right here. It seems Trent Reznor has become predictable and formulaic. I'm shocked! He's like Bono now. But for industrial/goth/depressed people. I'll say 4.8 for this one. Actual rating: 6.7. Point differential: 1.9.

Avril Lavigne - The Best Damn Thing

Is it possible? Is Avril reviewable by PF? It doesn't look like any of her albums have ever been reviewed, however, two singles from her last album received a combined total of 1.5 stars. That tells me everything I need to know about what this album will get, should it be reviewed. Which it won't. Or will it? No. But just in case: 2.1. Actual rating: pending. Point differential: TBD.

Grindhouse and junk

Man, I have sucked lately! My predictive powers must be weakening.

I saw Grindhouse last weekend. There was a great song (movie songs always sound better cause they're so fucking loud) I had never heard, by an old 60's band I had never heard of called Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich. It seemed ridiculous that the young character who mentioned it would do so. In fact, it sounded like a made-up band name, but then I knew Tarantino likely wouldn't use a made-up name when a perfectly obscure real one would fit. And now, having looked it up on allmusic.com, I truly appreciate the brilliance of the band and song choice:

...were led by vocalist Dee (born: David Harman), an ex-policeman who had been at the scene of the automobile accident that took the life of American rocker Eddie
Cochran and injured Gene Vincent in April 1960.

Blonde Redhead - 23 *

What's that you say? Another prediction? Alas, your eyes are not deceiving you. After being beaten to the punch by PF on a number of releases lately, I wanted to get some more of my shit happening here before the day is over and I'm drunk again and unable to type full sentences.

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the concept of a blonde redhead. It must be some absolutely hilarious inside reference to a carpet-not-matching-the-drapes scenario, if you know what I mean.

But back to the music. I don't know much about this band, and to be honest right now I'm not motivated to find out anything else about it. I know it's got a chick singer who may or may not wail artily, but I need to go buy a fucking raincoat, so to get to the point I'll predict a predictably arty score of 8.3! Actual rating: 7.0. Point differential: 1.3.

Paul Wall - Get Money--Stay True

All I know about Paul Wall is that he is the king of the grill, or as PF called him, the clandestine dentist. I feel there is little else I need to know. PF was pretty hard on one of the songs from this album. I've read some of the rhymes, and the good news is they sound like they were written by a dentist. I'll predict a 4.3. Actual rating: pending. Point differential: TBD.

Bright Eyes - Cassadaga *

I have become bored of Bright Eyes. Fortunately I don't need to try to explain why to you; I simply need to attempt to predict the rating for its new album.

PF wasn't thrilled with the last release, giving it a 5.9. By my calculations, that means this new one is guaranteed to received at least 1.0 higher than that mark. After all, two sub-par reviews in a row by PF is, allegedly, enough to seriously affect album sales for the artist in question, and cause the average temperature of the Earth to increase by 0.2 degrees, causing water levels to rise overnight and drowning all humans under 3'2". That's right: no more Verne Troyer. Nobody wants that. He was hilarious that time he got real drunk on the Surreal Life!

I predict a 7.3 for this new one! Actual rating: 6.0. Point differential: 1.3.